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23.01.2022

Guts to the wooden fence

Blind is the one practicing rock music,
Kranjec* is making fun out of him.
A rocker is always fooled by luck.
He lives and dies without money.
Whole life he is exerting himself,
Spending dough on guitars,
leather pants, old guitar amps
He hasn´t been selling plates for a long time.
Rock ’n roll doesn’t make profit in our country, ‘cause there is other scene where all the gain goes.
Accordion siphons off all the cash.
Now, forget about the guitar riffs,
the only true music is the Oberkrainer music.
Fuck rock and fuck roll,
play something polka-like (lit. to jump around)
 
Chorus:
Guts to the wooden fence,
Titties out and willies in,
schnapps in blood,
tractor in first gear,
beer mug thrown to a head,
and a knife into a cow,
boom - I wake up on ER,
I can't help it being Slovene.
 
I work throughout the whole week (he is hard-working and fair)
I don't argue – I dutifully obey boss, mother-in law and wife,
If someone asks me something, I have no opinion,
no ambitions nor life,
But when I get to (village) inn,
I down some schnapps (1,2,3,4),
rinse it down with a liter of wine,
and to break it (the monotony) I drink beer.
Suddenly I am the expert on cars, women and sport results,
by far I'm the loudest one,
I am the know-it-all guy.
In my head polka starts playing,
chainsaw plays the (major) third interval,
and I shout out while I throw the bottle at the waitress...
 
Chorus:
Guts on the wooden fence,
Titties out and willies in,
schnapps in blood,
tractor in first gear,
beer mug thrown to a head,
knife into a cow,
boom - I wake up on ER,
I can't help it being Slovene.
 
Carnations* and chrysanths*
quiver softly in the wind,
from nearby hill the church bell rings,
bim-bam-bom
which calls for the religious folks.
Higher education doesn't help,
not what the others say,
when I hear the sound of accordion,
centuries roll back,
my mind get flushed with spirit,
in my heart plays Golica*,
veselica* and potica*,
again I am free like a bird….
 
Chorus:
Guts on the wooden fence,
Titties out and willies in,
schnapps in blood,
tractor in first gear,
beer mug thrown to a head,
knife into a cow,
boom - I wake up on ER,
I can't help it being Slovene.
 
23.01.2022

They fuck us up

They fuck us up everyday from morning to evening,
you get fucked up by policeman if you drink too much beer,
you get fucked up by boss if you're late to work,
parents fuck you up if you end up in bad company.
 
Math fucks some up on final exam,
others are fucked up by hangover when partying too hard,
whites fuck up with blacks just because they're not white,
but on TV we won't tolerate any of that.
 
Cause how would it look like if Mario* and Desa Muck* instead of humor they would practice s__? 
Sašo Hribar* without pants - that is just too much!
 
You are fucked by holidays 'cause you never have them,
you get fucked by computer 'cause its so hard to fix it,
you get fucked by railway because train is always late,
you get fucked up by wife who sulks before sex.
 
Snow fucks you up if it starts in May,
you get fucked up by a fly that keeps landing on your bald spot,
you get fucked by senility/old age because it starts too soon,
they can fuck up with you everywhere, but not on TV.
 
Cause how would Mr. Tanko* look if during evening news he would get something up his a__?
Miša taking off her clothes?
That is just too much! That is just too much!